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Friday, March 22, 2013

"How to kiss a girl?" The two meanings of this phrase.


A lot of guys will ask this question... but it ussually has two very different meanings:



1) It is a question about how to become a "good" kisser. How to kiss as a "process" and



2) It is (more often I think) a more general question encompassing several others like: "how do I know when is the right time to kiss her", "how do I know that she wants to be kissed", "shoud I kiss her or not"



This page deals with the second aspect.



Let's take this one step at a time!



How do... I kiss a girl? How do I know it's the right time? How do I know she's ready?



These are your questions, but I am not going to answer them, I am going to tease you a little with the answer you need to hear first. The reason most men do not kiss a girl is because they don't even GO FOR IT... and the top reasons that men don't go for the kiss are:



Number one, Fear of losing her: Most men will not attempt to kiss the girl because they have this thought running in their head saying "but wait... what if I kiss her now and she doesn't like it? I'm going to lose her, aren't I?", "what if this isn't the right time and I blow it?"... and on and on the thought runs and they never do it!!! They don't do it before it's time, while it really is time, not even when it's too late. The trouble with this thought is that it's based on a scarcity mentality that says "if I lose this girl, there won't be another one for months", when in reality you could be meeting 10-20 girls a day if you had the proper social skills (which are very learnable).



Number two, waiting for the signal: A lot of men will wait for a woman's signal before they attempt anything, and in fact most mainstream "dating" articles written by well-meaning but cluless women advise waiting for a woman's signal. The trouble with this is that men are notoriously dumb. Infact it has been proven recently in neuroscience that men have a TEN TIMES smaller capacity for social intelligence (reading cues and social situations). So any signal she gives, your mind is literally not built to read anyway. Attempt it anyway. Even if it's not the right time and she turns her head, guess what?! She will now respect you even more for having tried. She's now MORE likely to want it.



Number three, the man's need to be perfect and protect his ego: Men are interesting creatures. They seem to have this immense obsession with always needing to appear like they already know everything and never failing in public. Most guys feel that if they were to try to kiss a girl, and she dodged the kiss, that it means they're somehow "bad" or imperfect. No it doesn't! It simply means it wasn't the right time. Try again later or with a different girl. Don't tie your identity to outside events. Attempt it anyway. If you're a beginner and not experienced in kissing... guess what? You're likely to get it wrong the first dozen or hundred times... So what? Attempt it anyway. That's the only way you learn this stuff.



Number four, being emotionally attached to the outcome: This is related to the previous one. A lot of guys will go into an interaction with a woman with an outcome in mind, a goal of what they want to "get" or "achieve" with this girl, like for example "I have to kiss her by tonight", or "I want to take her home on the second date, right after my carefully crafted way of tricking her over to my place". Don't do it! To translate some "womenspeak" to you, this is what women mean when they talk about men "objectifying" them. Women are not an object or an immaterial "thing" you set goals for. Go into any interaction with a woman with no outcome in mind other than "having fun, and getting to know her". So how do you do it, without wanting to do it? To use use some new-agey terminology, you "allow" it to happen. You literally go into the situation with a mindset of "I just want to get to know this woman. I would love it if we made out or even had sex tonight, but I don't care either way. All I need is to have a great interaction, anything else is a bonus". Go in with this mindset, and let things unfold naturally. That way you will naturally find yourself going for the kiss, without fearing the outcome, positive or negative.



Ok, so I've teased you long enough with WHY you don't go for the kiss in the first place (which is 90% of the puzzle). How do you actually do it right? There are 2 elements to this:



1) Location



It's incredible how many guys get this stuff wrong. You have to realize that even if a woman's desire to be kissed at this moment right now is as strong as she has ever felt... if the location is not right... it's NOT happening! So what makes a location wrong? The most important of all are social and peer pressure. If this is to be your first kiss ever, the girl is going to feel very very uncomfortable being kissed in front of first and foremost her friends, and secondly, too many strangers. The solution is very simple, just "do isolation" (as the guys over in the seduction forums call it). Take her away from the friends, and do it. And "take her away" doesn't mean "the next town". It can be as simple as 5 feet away from the group you're all standing in, the couch on the other end of the room, the next room. If you're on a date in public, it can mean a bench on the other side of the park. The examples are non-important. Just remember the principle.



2) Timing



I am going to have to give you a huuuuuge dissapointment here. I can not teach you timing over a textual page on the internet. Nor can I do it face-to-face. Nor can anyone on this planet, male or female do it. The only way to learn "timing", and the exact moment to kiss a girl is -personal experience- To put it bluntly, what this means is that you will need to get your timing wrong a whole bunch of times. Please accept this right now and go Attempt it now! Stop searching for the perfect information. No one on the planet can give you a magical pill that will change this fact. You will need to get your timing wrong a lot of times. Go do it anyway!



p.s. she, and any other girl who witnessed that will respect you more for having attempted, even if they may not seem to show it.



Please, take this information, go out there and use it. Oh, and read this 2-3 more times. It's alot of information about how to kis a girl packed into one densely concentrated page.


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