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Thursday, March 21, 2013
Heartfelt - painful experiences in relationships
Expectations and attachment in relationships...why they cause you so much pain and suffering
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Your sex and love homework
When we are little kids, we use kisses throughout the day - we blow kisses to someone, brush our mouth against mommy's cheek, give a smacking kiss to our pet or favorite toy, but all of this does not even compare to the real adult kiss between two people. It is where the most interesting part begins - insecurities and fears related to not being able to kiss well. Allow us to let you in on a secret, even grown-up and experienced people are still afraid of that, since each person is individual and what one person likes might not attract another one, therefore a person learns to kiss their whole life. So what is the most important in the art of kissing? No matter how you look at it, there is just one answer - to listen to and feel your partner. Even if you have absolutely no skills at all, when you gently touch the lips of the person you love for the first time, the desire to please them leads us to the heavenly bliss of the kiss. In order to master your technique of the kiss, you should pay attention to the romantic melodramas. Pay attention to how the actors kiss, try to put yourself in their shoes, feel the touch of the other person's skin. After practicing in the dreamland, you can do a really good job of replaying the kisses with the person you love. At the same time you should not be creating certain templates, since you will have to improvise no matter what, based on how your partner reacts to your touch. Start with making eye contact and then move your gaze to your partner's lips. Make sure to angle your face, otherwise your nose might get in the way and prevent you from being able to have a deep and smooth kiss. As you approach for the kiss, close your eyes. Start off with a gentle kiss with your mouth only slightly opened. A French kiss is an open-mouth one, but it should be a shared decision. Open your lips slowly so that your partner's lip goes between yours, then change it - if you were kissing their upper lip, switch to the lower one. As you are re-locking your lips in this fashion, slightly brush your tongue across your partner's lips. If they respond with their tongue, then you have your "go ahead" for the French kiss. If both of you are enjoying the open-mouth French kiss, you can try exploring with your tongue and pushing it a little farther into your partner's mouth. Be careful though not to stick your tongue too far as it can actually be rather unpleasant. Start out slowly and take time to explore each other's mouths. And don't forget about your hands - everything that the touch of your lips did not say, may be added with the gentle stroking of the hair and shoulders, and touching of the neck and hands. Normally you would want to start with your hands on your partner's hips and slowly move up to their back, and on to their face and hair. If you want to show your partner that you are comfortable with them, you can just stroke their shoulders while you are kissing. A big turn on is putting your hands on your partner's face or wrapping your arms around them in an embrace. Keep in mind that everyone kisses differently and enjoys different things, therefore there is no set "right" way to kiss. What makes a good kisser is the ability to read and respond to the partner's body language. Make sure you are always alert for the clues your partner might be giving you as far as what they like or dislike and adapt to those sign accordingly. If your partner seems uncomfortable at any time, be sure to take it down a notch and take it slow. And on the contrary, if you hear your partner moaning with pleasure, take a note of what it is you are doing as they are obviously enjoying it. And finally there is a checklist you should always go through before you even think about kissing anyone. Make sure your breath is fresh. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than stinky breath. Dress well, do not wear untidy clothes and look scruffy. Keep your hands and tongue in control and do not go overboard the first time you kiss or you will never see them again. Be confident, it will reflect in the way you kiss. And once again, this cannot be stressed enough, read your partner's signs and respond to their body language. Remember, kissing requires practice. You will get better as you kiss more. And the more practice you have with the same person, the more comfortable you will get with each other and learn what each of you likes and dislikes, which will allow you to create your own style that works perfect for both of you.
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